I want to gently push back on that question. Not because it's rude — it isn't — but because I think it points you in the wrong direction. After thirteen years of sitting with women across a desk and a Zoom screen, I'm more convinced of this than almost anything else I teach.
God's economy has always been addition
Here's something I keep noticing when I read Scripture. When God begins to work with someone, He almost never starts by taking things away.
Abraham was old, childless, and without a clear purpose for the second half of his life. God added a son, a covenant, a nation. The disciples were fishermen with empty nets; Christ added fish — and then added a calling. The wedding at Cana had run dry, and Jesus added wine: six stone jars of it, the best of the day.
I'm not saying God never asks us to leave anything behind. He does. But notice the rhythm — the addition comes first. The leaving-behind is almost always a response to abundance, not a precondition for it.
"Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do."— Ecclesiastes 9:7
Notice what's missing from that verse. No but only if you've earned it. No as long as you don't enjoy it too much. Just: go, eat, with joy — because God has already smiled on it. Diet culture runs the opposite direction. Cut first, earn first, restrict first — then you can have peace, then you can be free. I think we've been listening to the wrong economy.
The framework
This is the one I keep coming back to — in every letter, every reel, every workshop, every live call. It's the spine of almost everything I teach: Add, Don't Subtract.
When you sit down at the table this week, don't ask what should I cut out? That question keeps you running on the same treadmill, just with newer vocabulary. Ask instead: what could I add?
- Could you add one more vegetable to lunch?
- Could you add a glass of water before your coffee?
- Could you add a handful of nuts in the afternoon, instead of skipping the hour and crashing at four?
- Could you add a short prayer of thanks before the first bite?
Watch what happens to your body when you stop fighting it and start feeding it more. Your appetite settles. The four o'clock crash quietens. The nine o'clock raid on the kitchen — the one you've blamed yourself for so many times — often disappears on its own.
That isn't willpower returning. That's your body realising it's being looked after instead of policed. Clinically, this works because the body responds to abundance with safety, and to scarcity with stockpiling. It's biology, not a character flaw. But it's also true theologically. We were made by a generous God, and we were designed to flourish when we receive — not when we restrict.
A small practice to try
Building on the practice of sitting down to one real meal a day: at that meal, add something before you take anything away. A vegetable. A protein. A glass of water. A short word of thanks. Whatever is small enough to actually do. Then notice what your body does when the message it receives is more, not less.